Comments on: Screw-ups, Fresh Starts & Comebacks http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/ Coach Tom Volkar on pursuing work life freedom Fri, 29 Aug 2008 05:57:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Tom Volkar / Delightful Work http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-410 Tom Volkar / Delightful Work Sun, 11 May 2008 12:40:54 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-410 Ronny thanks for stopping by and thank you for the reminder to pause and listen to the silence. You're right, that always works well. Susan well said. Unconditional self-love is a beautiful prescription. Let's all simply love ourselves unconditionally regardless of what we have and have not done. That would make quite the world, wouldn't it?

Ronny thanks for stopping by and thank you for the reminder to pause and listen to the silence. You’re right, that always works well.

Susan well said. Unconditional self-love is a beautiful prescription. Let’s all simply love ourselves unconditionally regardless of what we have and have not done. That would make quite the world, wouldn’t it?

]]> By: Susan Rolniak http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-409 Susan Rolniak Sat, 10 May 2008 14:22:11 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-409 Wow! Beautifully written, Tom, and the timing was just perfect! Unconditional love --it's not only for others, but also for ourselves. With gratitude for all of your inspirations, Susan

Wow! Beautifully written, Tom, and the timing was just perfect! Unconditional love –it’s not only for others, but also for ourselves.
With gratitude for all of your inspirations,
Susan

]]> By: Ronny http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-408 Ronny Sat, 10 May 2008 09:35:58 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-408 You're so right Tom, the moment we stop hosing ourself our lives change. But it is a hard thing to do, we are so used testing and judging ourselves. When I detect I'm doing it again, I listen to the wonderful silence between 2 thoughts. It's such an inspiring and beautiful place to be. Love and Peace, Ronny

You’re so right Tom, the moment we stop hosing ourself our lives change. But it is a hard thing to do, we are so used testing and judging ourselves.

When I detect I’m doing it again, I listen to the wonderful silence between 2 thoughts. It’s such an inspiring and beautiful place to be.

Love and Peace, Ronny

]]> By: Tom Volkar / Delightful Work http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-407 Tom Volkar / Delightful Work Thu, 08 May 2008 11:20:02 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-407 Tim yes we can both change how we feel and do our best to make the changes so the same kind of mistake doesn’t re-occur. In fact that probably is the better way to go about it. Thank you. Suzanne I would have laughed at your comment without the smiley faces. Only because I’ve been there with clients many times myself and it’s amazing how they equate responsibility with punishment of some sort. Readers check out Suzanne's post on mistakes made with others. http://www.learningcurvecoaching.com/2008/05/when-you-screw-up/ Katie thanks for pointing that out. There is nothing wrong with a missed attempt. It happens all the time and is indeed a natural part of life. I also like your perspective on how we view ourselves. Let’s all cut ourselves some slack today.

Tim yes we can both change how we feel and do our best to make the changes so the same kind of mistake doesn’t re-occur. In fact that probably is the better way to go about it. Thank you.

Suzanne I would have laughed at your comment without the smiley faces. Only because I’ve been there with clients many times myself and it’s amazing how they equate responsibility with punishment of some sort.

Readers check out Suzanne’s post on mistakes made with others.
http://www.learningcurvecoaching.com/2008/05/when-you-screw-up/

Katie thanks for pointing that out. There is nothing wrong with a missed attempt. It happens all the time and is indeed a natural part of life. I also like your perspective on how we view ourselves. Let’s all cut ourselves some slack today.

]]> By: Katie West http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-406 Katie West Thu, 08 May 2008 00:34:16 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-406 Great point, Tom, that it is not about the mistake but how we perceive ourselves in the process. I like the idea that mistakes are missed attempts and that we should at least congratulate ourselves for making an attempt. Thanks for another well written article, Katie

Great point, Tom, that it is not about the mistake but how we perceive ourselves in the process.
I like the idea that mistakes are missed attempts and that we should at least congratulate ourselves for making an attempt.
Thanks for another well written article,
Katie

]]> By: Suzanne Bird-Harris | Learning Curve Coaching http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-405 Suzanne Bird-Harris | Learning Curve Coaching Tue, 06 May 2008 20:17:57 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-405 Tom, Great reminder to us all! I had a client ask me, "If I'm trying to be 100% responsible for my life, why are you telling me to give myself a break?" I had to explain that you can actually do both...at the same time. :) We're still working on it. :) Suzanne

Tom,

Great reminder to us all! I had a client ask me, “If I’m trying to be 100% responsible for my life, why are you telling me to give myself a break?” I had to explain that you can actually do both…at the same time. :) We’re still working on it. :)

Suzanne

]]> By: Tim Brownson http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-404 Tim Brownson Tue, 06 May 2008 19:29:56 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-404 I don't want to appear to be pedantic at Mags, but if you miss the moon you're not going to end up in the stars. They're a lot further away, at least 150 miles maybe even further would be my guess. You'll maybe end up in France or Northern Italy or somewhere similar, which I guess aren't bad places to be. "When we screw-up we can either change what occurred so that we don’t make the same mistake again or we can change how we feel about making mistakes" Or maybe even both. Change how you feel about it whilst doing your best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Reframe your misses until you keep hitting and then you don't need to bother.

I don’t want to appear to be pedantic at Mags, but if you miss the moon you’re not going to end up in the stars. They’re a lot further away, at least 150 miles maybe even further would be my guess. You’ll maybe end up in France or Northern Italy or somewhere similar, which I guess aren’t bad places to be.

“When we screw-up we can either change what occurred so that we don’t make the same mistake again or we can change how we feel about making mistakes”

Or maybe even both. Change how you feel about it whilst doing your best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Reframe your misses until you keep hitting and then you don’t need to bother.

]]> By: Tom Volkar / Delightful Work http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-403 Tom Volkar / Delightful Work Tue, 06 May 2008 18:16:44 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-403 Mags that’s excellent wisdom on how to look at a mistake and it’s not woo-woo at all. :) Fawn yes self-absolution is gloriously rich and satisfying because it confirms that it’s all up to us. We make up our worlds so we might as well clean them up to suit us. Charlie welcome man thanks so much for sharing your excellent tips. I really like their clarity and power especially the Holmes quote. Kenneth yes life is beautiful. Your comment made me think of the movie of the same name. That put a smile on my face, thank you. Shann absolution from second-guessing – life with no regrets, outstanding! Jonathan thanks so much man; I’m very happy you enjoyed it. Realizing that the enemy we are the enemy of graceful living is very astute of you. Evelyn scores another one for lightening up and forgiveness. Readers see what Evelyn said - forgiveness and lightening up made her happier. Louise I’m right there with you. I screw-up almost daily. That’s why I have so many tools to feel better about it. Karl is that where punishment comes from? As an answer to not make the same mistake again. Well I bet that really doesn’t work. Yes you are correct; making a fresh start both emotionally and mentally feels wonderful. Patricia thanks for that perspective of mistakes as challenges. Yes negative connotations are very interesting. Some folks have no problem with the word mistakes. But since you do it is very wise of you to use another word. I once new a guy who called all problems, projects instead. It worked for him. Language is so powerful. I have a post coming up on specific suggestions for more life-giving language.

Mags that’s excellent wisdom on how to look at a mistake and it’s not woo-woo at all. :)

Fawn yes self-absolution is gloriously rich and satisfying because it confirms that it’s all up to us. We make up our worlds so we might as well clean them up to suit us.

Charlie welcome man thanks so much for sharing your excellent tips. I really like their clarity and power especially the Holmes quote.

Kenneth yes life is beautiful. Your comment made me think of the movie of the same name. That put a smile on my face, thank you.

Shann absolution from second-guessing – life with no regrets, outstanding!

Jonathan thanks so much man; I’m very happy you enjoyed it. Realizing that the enemy we are the enemy of graceful living is very astute of you.

Evelyn scores another one for lightening up and forgiveness. Readers see what Evelyn said - forgiveness and lightening up made her happier.

Louise I’m right there with you. I screw-up almost daily. That’s why I have so many tools to feel better about it.

Karl is that where punishment comes from? As an answer to not make the same mistake again. Well I bet that really doesn’t work.
Yes you are correct; making a fresh start both emotionally and mentally feels wonderful.

Patricia thanks for that perspective of mistakes as challenges. Yes negative connotations are very interesting. Some folks have no problem with the word mistakes. But since you do it is very wise of you to use another word. I once new a guy who called all problems, projects instead. It worked for him. Language is so powerful. I have a post coming up on specific suggestions for more life-giving language.

]]> By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-402 Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Tue, 06 May 2008 16:34:06 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-402 I choose to look at mistakes as challenges. Challenges are exciting and don't have the negative connotation that the word mistake has. Challenges aren't going down the wrong path, they are just little detours that teach us so much more about Life and ourselves. Challenges are good because they teach us things we might not learn otherwise. Without detours, how do you know that you are still on the Path that you want to take? Great article, Tom. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about mistakes and forgiveness. Challenges add richness to our lives. Forgiveness adds knowledge of self and compassion to our lives. Have a glorious day.

I choose to look at mistakes as challenges. Challenges are exciting and don’t have the negative connotation that the word mistake has. Challenges aren’t going down the wrong path, they are just little detours that teach us so much more about Life and ourselves. Challenges are good because they teach us things we might not learn otherwise. Without detours, how do you know that you are still on the Path that you want to take?

Great article, Tom. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about mistakes and forgiveness. Challenges add richness to our lives. Forgiveness adds knowledge of self and compassion to our lives. Have a glorious day.

]]> By: karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matters http://www.delightfulwork.com/2008/05/05/screw-ups-fresh-starts-comebacks/#comment-401 karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matters Tue, 06 May 2008 13:13:24 +0000 http://delightfulwork.wordpress.com/?p=52#comment-401 We all need to step back and take the time to renew our thoughts after a misstep. It's hard for anyone to do, me included. We feel the need to punish ourselves so we don't make the same mistake again. When you take the time to appreciate the good work that you do this creates a positive mindset which helps encourage a fresh start. I'm still learning to do this, but when it works it's a great feeling.

We all need to step back and take the time to renew our thoughts after a misstep. It’s hard for anyone to do, me included. We feel the need to punish ourselves so we don’t make the same mistake again.

When you take the time to appreciate the good work that you do this creates a positive mindset which helps encourage a fresh start. I’m still learning to do this, but when it works it’s a great feeling.

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