Readers of this blog know that I love wake up calls and fresh smacks in the face.  I’m convinced that the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to tell the whole truth to ourselves about ourselves.

Realizations are essential to creating the life you want to live.  Never stand pat.   Choose powerful stimulating experiences.  Coaching is really an experience in insight stimulation and engagement.

Fresh realizations come charged with the energy to create.  That’s why it’s so important to seize your moment of discovery with bold action.

So here’s some truth jarring stuff I’ve come across lately for your reading and listening delight.

Bill Weil has made his powerful relationship book, New Earth Relationships, available on audio down load.  It’s so good I use it as a tool with my relationship-coaching clients.

In the Crappiness of Happiness Egbert Sukop will piss you off, shake you up and give you a major case of head scratching.  I love what he says about the “bitch lag”.

In Are Your Dreams Big Enough, Slade Roberson asks some wonderfully challenging questions.  Answer them – you could change your life.

What are you reading or listening too that rocks your world?

We gain the greatest freedom from cutting our own ties. Ties that bind us to old agreements and roles, need to be broken, when once freely chosen activities now feel like obligations.

Self-created ties are complicated, because like any relationship, liberation is more challenging in the presence of emotional entanglement. Our dysfunctions become comfortable. Fortunately there are effective decision-making tools available to aid this process.

In the comments of my last post, Juliet at Life Made Great, asked me for an example of how I use this question posed by Peter Block in his book, The Answer To How Is Yes. What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

Here’s my formula for using this powerful transformational tool.

1). Trust yourself. You know what’s best for you better than anyone else could know. Until you recognize your caring wisdom within and act accordingly, you will continue to search for answers outside of yourself.

2). Tell the truth to yourself and identify an unmade decision that is weighting heavily on you, right now. Unmade decisions are fail proof indicators of where you are losing focus and energy. Delay is extremely costly.

You will always suffer when your mind wants two opposing things at once.  Byron Katie

3). Decide to ask the question.  We suffer only because we haven’t chosen. But instead of choosing we try to do more.  It’s crazy because we add when we need to be simplifying.

We often seek productivity and time management solutions that only serve to make us realize how far behind we really are.  Sometimes we just can’t catch up.  Instead we need to declare a fresh start by setting fresh standards.

Time management is not about organization; it’s about boldness.  Steve Chandler

4). Ask the question. What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

5). Write down your question and answer it.

6). Follow-through and act on the answer. Without action you are disrespecting your own wisdom.

What happens when it all works as designed?

Here’s how I used this process recently.  My coaching business has been booming.  It’s become very clear, that I need to cut way back on some blogging and social media activities, in order to focus more on delivering break through results for an increasing number of clients.

Yet I’ve struggled doing so, mostly because I truly enjoy and value the connections I’ve made with you, my fellow bloggers.  I’ve been grieving the loss of supportive Tom who once visited and return commented on every commenter to his blog.  But I was fearful of cutting back as well.

Fear-Based Marketing

Blogging and social media can become extremely fear-based marketing.  It becomes fear based when we fear the consequences of not doing it well or frequently enough.  Social media by nature, is a reaching-out activity, to those beyond your closest circles.  The further away from intimate connection marketing is, the more fear comes along for the ride.

But that’s the beautiful thing about fear; if you really look at it, fear goes away.  I’ve realized that my true connections will respect my decision.

What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

My question.  How can I feel really good about my decision to radically simplify my life?

My answer.  I can feel really good about my decision to simplify my life: by cutting ties that feel like obligations, and by declaring new standards for blogging and social media participation.  Here are my new standards.

I do not market based on fear of loss or how I look to others.

Before engaging in social media activity I’ll ask this question.
Is there a more direct way to make connection?

I am free from all obligations and I do nothing that feels like an obligation.

I blog only when I am inspired to encourage and inspire others.

I exercise my right to totally change my mind when it feels right to do so.

I am free.

What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

What unmade decision will set you free?

Want to experience masterful breakthrough coaching at no obligation? Join us on March 18, enroll here.

I’m asking for your support and in return I’ve got something for you.

The Helping Spirit

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. Nelson Henderson

I thought about my Dad while pruning the apple trees he planted in an orchard that would not bear fruit, until after he passed. My family recently gathered to help Mom maintain her home.

Here I’m holding my nephew Ben’s son Eli, in front of the family bonfire where we burned those pruned limbs. Eli was conceived but not yet born when my Dad made his transition. It feels good to recognize my Dad’s loving spirit living on in his kinfolk.

Selfishness is Good

You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. Zig Ziglar

I like this quote because it feels right to put service first and to recognize a possible return on ones contribution. Barbara Swafford at Blogging Without a Blog is a brilliant example of this right now. Check out her generous directory offer.

From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing, which has any first and foremost object but one: to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for himself. Mark Twain

Even when we help others isn’t there a part of us that relishes the return in good feelings? Isn’t that a part of our motivation to help in the first place?

When you become truly selfish, you’ll have the extra reserves needed to really care about – and be generous with others. Thomas Leonard

The ruthless determination and the generous philanthropy of folks like Bill Gates and Richard Branson proves this point very well.

A Big Question

How could I solve my most pressing business challenge and at the same time possibly help many others even more than I help myself?

The Answer

By asking for your participation in a viral community building experiment. My most surprising blessing of blogging was realizing the generous spirit of service that bloggers combine with sound leveraging strategy.

I guess you could call this experiment a spiritual infomercial or an exercise in mutual hand washing.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. Edward Everett Hale

I admit I’m a bit fearful of sticking my neck out but I’ll not let that stop me. I believe that together we can leverage our intentions to support one another in this experiment. I’m really curious to see how this is received.

My Challenge

I coach a powerful group program that helps budding entrepreneurs discover the business that most authentically suits them. The first time I offered it, four out of four participants enthusiastically agreed that it delivered as promised. My challenge is that so far, not enough of the right folks have heard about it to fill my next class. It starts next Monday 10-27, at noon New York time and this post is an attempt spread the word.

Your Return

What if by commenting on this post you could drive greater traffic to your blog, present your most pressing business challenge and receive some valuable revelations on your own business or blog all in one?

Want to join us? Click here to read how. I’m offering a chance at greater connection with a free coaching call thrown in.

One definition of leverage is maximum productivity with minimal effort. If you want to try something a little different that could make a big splash click here to read more.

One of the most frequent comments I see on self-development blogs is, “thanks for reminding me.” Often this is followed by the exasperating question, “I know this stuff; why do I forget to use it?”

Why do we forget to use what we already know to be useful for us?

When this occurs, have we really learned it well in the first place?

Perhaps we’ve read something a few times and we assume we’ve learned it because we recognize it when we see it again. But have we learned it deeply enough for it to become a habit?

Particularly in the practice of self-development, why do we tend to slip back into less-than-conscious, default behaviors that don’t serve us well?

Is it a matter of a lack of awareness?

It could be. But I think it’s mainly because we’ve unwittingly fallen under the influence of an outside belief that appears to be strong. As we absorb that outside belief, and as we do, it latches onto other limiting, pre-existing beliefs; before we know it, we are focusing on the lack of what we really want.

For example, take our so-called “troubled” economy. I generally don’t watch national newscasts but I’ve been so excited about having a real choice in the year’s presidential election that I got sucked into all the news regarding the economic bailout. Even though I consciously choose my thoughts, the insidious nature of doom and gloom affected the future I was imagining.

Gratefully, I was jarred back to an abundant reality by reading Slade Roberson’s excellent post, Paper Money Airplane.

Here’s the bottom line when it comes to creating our own reality: garbage in results in garbage out. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known something, you aren’t immune to a fearful collective consciousness with an opposing view. Remain diligent, filter your outside influences, and decide what you know as often as necessary to create the life and business you desire.

If all of this depressing economic news has you down, decide to clear it now by watching this excellent video of Brad Yates using EFT (emotional freedom technique).

I’m interested; in the comments, please tell me why you don’t always use what you already know.