Delightful Work

This is the commencement address you probably won’t hear.

It’s my life’s work to help others find their work life freedom. I believe that work life happiness and work life freedom go hand in hand. In terms of the work choices available to new graduates and their willingness to seize their work life freedom, not a lot has changed in the 35 years since I’ve graduated college.

New graduates with technical skills can generally find higher-paying entry-level employment. But this message is for well-rounded, right–brained, Bachelor of Arts grads - the modern day generalists and renaissance men and women. You are dubiously blessed with many interests and the ability to do a lot of things well. Who you are, what you can do, and the options available to you are what seem to make your employment prospects gloomier.

In 1973, I was you. Much like today, it was a tight job market for new graduates. I had just graduated with a degree in Political Science that I suspected I’d never apply to my actual career. Social unrest and the Vietnam War had soured me on ever working in politics.

I began to look for work. After a few months, my options were between two lousy choices. I could enter the management-training program of a national steakhouse chain, or I could take a self-employed position selling life insurance on straight commission. I often wonder what turns my life may have taken if I had chosen differently? I was young and ignorant, yet I accepted the insurance opportunity simply because of the work life freedom it offered. As long as I sold enough, no one told me what to do or where to go - and I found that deeply appealing. I made an important decision based on what I valued, even if I wasn’t even aware of the concept of values until much later in life.

That’s my point. Even though you may be unaware of it – your life is speaking to you right now. Are you listening? To do so, you’ll need to tune out all the chatter of well-meaning folks who want you to conform and take the best job you can get. But is a job really right for you? At what price will you compromise your freedom and your happiness?

If you are one of those uncertain renaissance folks, I want you to know that you are truly more fortunate because you don’t exactly fit any existing employment positions. I know this can be a very scary time for you. Many of you feel that getting a job means growing up and surrendering your freedom. Well, you’re right about that. I can understand your hesitation; who in their right mind voluntarily surrenders their freedom?

I also understand that a lot of fear around the lack of money comes into play in all of your decisions. You may need to temporarily put your dreams on the side burner while you create a small financial reserve. But even if you go for a job for only financial reasons, allow your heart and soul to have some say in the decision. Every choice you make has consequences. Even some for-the-money-only jobs are better for you than others.

I’ve seen a lot after 10 years of work life happiness coaching. I’d like you to consider this. What if you didn’t have to give up your freedom? What if you could be paid well just for being yourself? Would that be appealing? What would you do if you knew, beyond any doubt, that the following three statements were true and would turn out to be true for you?

1.   Even now your life is trying to speak to you through your available options. It may be hard to get your attention, but somewhere among your options is a choice that will ultimately serve you well because it will put you on the path that is a better fit for who you are. It’s your duty to choose the option that will make you feel most alive.

2.   It’s more likely that you’ll find your work life happiness and freedom in a self-employed opportunity of your own creation than in the higher paying, but much more restricted, life of an employee. Your parents and most everyone else will want you to be cautious and go for the steady, more stable financial situation. This will calm their fears, but they aren’t the ones who could end up slaving away in uninspired work for the next 35-40 years. You are. It’s your life and your choice.

3.   You may not think that you have what it takes to be your own boss own right now, but your suitability to life and work will increase sooner by boldly claiming your freedom now. The longer you wait to be the person you really are, the more difficult it will be to choose what makes you happy. Even if you miss badly, the experience of going for it will ultimately pay off for you.

Life is challenging. However, by being genuine and by making authentic choices, we get more competent at living. Meeting challenges, and not just going through the motions, is the only kind of life worth living.

“Self-esteem fully realized is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life. To trust one’s mind and know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.” Nathaniel Branden

You are worthy. You are capable. Who you are is enough to create a life of freedom and happiness. Get started today. You can be true to yourself now or you can believe in the “make money first” myth and hire a career coach like me after two decades of uninspired living. The choice is yours. It’s your life. Be happy now.

For every entrepreneur who has already seized the freedom of self-employment, there are at least 10 who want to but hesitate to take the leap. As a coach, it’s obvious to me that these folks are looking at what they fear - rather than what they want. But how can we encourage them? How can we help them to take action in spite of their fears?

Here’s one way. As a card-carrying member of the Eternal Optimists’ Club, I often ask this question when faced with an unexpected challenge. What’s good about it?

This morning I began pondering what’s good about my fears? What’s the value of fears? Fears arise for a reason. Behind every fear is a path that leads to greater freedom and fulfillment. So one could reasonably argue that fears point to a value that we cannot see until we face the fear.

In order to bring forth our pure and fearless selves, we need to face and examine the fears that are coming up for us in the present moment. We won’t find the gold by being afraid to look, and we won’t find it by looking in the wrong place.

Often a coaching client will share that he or she is in a funk and doesn’t know what it is, or what has caused it. Then the client will begin an ineffective pursuit to find out why. Why do I feel this way?  When struggling, do not seek to understand why it is that you struggle. You’ll seldom be able to find the truth from that perspective.

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein

Instead, try making the assumption that you are fearful of something that needs further exploration. Instead of asking the judgment-laden question: What’s wrong with me?  Or: Why am I feeling this way? Ask: What do I fear? If you are the kind of person who avoids facing your fears, you may have more than one fear. No sweat, just write them all down until the most demanding culprit reveals is itself. Then inquire internally to find one or more things that are good about the specific fear.

There is hidden gold waiting to be mined just beneath the surface of your fears. You just need an approach that will help you to see the gold. Below, I’ve offered five approaches to uncover it. First read the approach and then answer the accompanying fear identifier.

Fears point to decisions that need to be made.

What decision(s) have I been putting off?

Fears show us that greater truths need to be realized.

Since fears are imagined and not real, they are there to help us to transition to what is real. What greater truth am I not seeing because I’ve been afraid to look?

Fears alert us to potential danger.

What signs am I misreading or not seeing that could cause me harm?

Fears expose our erroneous self-judgments.

Where have I been doubting and judging myself without any proof that it’s true?

Fears show us what is stopping us by revealing our excuses.

What stories have I been telling myself in the form of excuses that stop me from taking action?

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. Dale Carnegie.

In order to be fearless, we need to face our fears as they arise. That way there is no build-up and nothing lying in wait that comes back to get us. Your fears are your friends. They exist to show you value that you haven’t yet seen. Don’t allow them to determine your destiny by fearing. Instead, allow them to shine a light on your optimum path by courageously facing them.

If you’ve read this far and still have fears, then you have yet to answer the questions above. Answer them and become the fearless creator you were meant to be.

Often I’ll begin coaching a self-employed, brand new coaching client who needs to get the money flowing now. When I begin coaching a client who needs to earn more immediately, it’s off-purpose to plant future seeds. This is the checklist I use to get more cash generated quickly.

1). Identify who it is that you want to serve the most.

Who do you really enjoy working with? Serving which demographic most warms your heart? What do these prospects really care about? What problems do they usually have that they must solve soon? What brings them alive? What are they not willing to compromise? Once you’ve answered these questions to the point of knowing exactly who they are and what they care about, then you can express yourself more clearly and they can find you more easily. Read a description here of those who I want to serve the most.

2). Ask for the money.

“All the money you want, someone else has, and you need to ask them for it to receive it.” Egbert Sukop

I’m not just talking about putting things out there on your blog or your website. I’m talking about calling up people you know and asking them whom they know. But ask for referrals very specifically by describing your answers to #1 above. Then, after describing whom you most want to serve, ask. Who does that bring to mind? Who do you know who fits that description? They can tell by the enthusiasm in your voice that you passionately want to serve that person so they are much more eager to refer you. Remember, it’s often not the direct action that brings in the cash. Often results come parallel to action.

3). Work in the now.

It’s very likely that in this moment you and I have enough money. The bills are current and there is gas in our car, a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. In this moment, all is well. So why do we feel like we have so little when we actually have enough? How can we feel like we have so little when something always turns up and it always turns out to be enough? Hasn’t that been your experience?

The now is the only place where we can produce anything. In the present we are powerful and in the future or the past we are powerless. Yet we don’t commit to living in this moment, do we? Have you ever wondered why?

Here is a fundamentally erroneous belief that you may not know you have. If you believe that money will solve all your problems then it will always seem as though you don’t have enough money. Why? You always have problems to solve. Since you will always have problems you will never have enough money to seem like you’re problem-free and that will make you strive for an unreachable future where you are problem free. It’s a no-win game to play.

Our biggest problem is that feeling of future security that we crave. It’s not enough for us to feel good about what we have now. No, we also want a guarantee that we will have more than enough in the future. It’s that focus on the future that creates the stress in the moment and that stress lessens your ability to maximize your earnings in the now. You can’t possibly be there and earn here. It sounds so obvious but that’s where powerless victims tend to take their thoughts.

If you really want to get the money flowing, then run your thoughts and actions by this quick checklist. Make the adjustments you need to make and feel good about where you are and what you have right now. Which of these three do you need to engage to get more money flowing? On which of these three do you tend to lose your focus? Is there a fourth strategy that you would add?

Interested in taking some action to stimulate your cash flow? Consider being coached in this mastermind group for the self employed.

Click here to inquire about one-on-one coaching.

Somehow we have lost our way when it comes to our work. Most of us may believe that it’s possible to enjoy delightful work, but how much of our work is actually delightful?

Some feel that work can all be like play and others feel that some of it needs to be like work. That’s what I examined in this post, Work as Play? I keep changing my mind on that one but that’s not what I want to address in this post. Or do I?

First, I want to ask this question.

Why do we complicate the things that matter the most to us? Specifically, why do we needlessly complicate creating a life of delightful work? (If you’re thinking, “I don’t complicate having delightful work, it’s just that I ________ {fill in the blank}….” then that’s what I mean by complicating it. For example, having reasons why you don’t have a life of delightful work is “complicating” it.)

Is it because we fear the change so much that the complication is a defense to delay it?

Or do we really, deep down, not think that delightful work is possible for us?

Or, are we really that afraid of our own brilliance or of our unique success?

Do you agree that the answer to delightful work is found within? Then why do we look to others for answers? Aren’t we the better source of wisdom in our own lives? What fears arise in you when you examine the possibility of totally delightful work?

That raises another question. Is it really the happiness and fulfillment of delightful work that we want or is it freedom from having to work at all that most attracts us?

For example, I think it’s interesting that so many of us coaches and bloggers seek to develop streams of passive income. What’s that about? We could say that we just want our bliss to be shared with a larger audience, and there could be some truth to that. But let’s get real here. Let’s talk about what we hope to gain.

Do we really want to become Internet info-marketers? Not that there is anything wrong with that. But is that your passion? Are you seeking delightful work or the positional advantage of not having to work at all? If you’re really looking for a way to earn money from not being physically present, is this an objective or an evasion? Is the work that we do so uninspiring that we are driven to develop ways of evading it?

I only pose these difficult questions because I’m asking them of myself right now.

Let’s dig deeper and get real about our work. Perhaps we could take a deep breath and start fresh with our examination?

In our work we ought to experience as much joy as we possibly can. Can we agree on that as a starting point? In my welcoming message I wrote: Delightful work is: amusing, attractive, captivating, clever, engaging, enjoyable, fascinating, gratifying, luscious and thrilling. Captivating, engaging, enjoyable and fascinating! That’s how I’d like to work more often. Here’s a confession. I write about delightful work and not all of my work is delightful. But whose responsibility is that? It certainly can’t be anyone else’s but mine.

I already do enjoy the freedoms that I care the most about, the freedoms of self-expression and self-determination.

The freedom of self-expression allows us to openly say whatever we want about our work. The freedom of self-determination is enjoying the option to be completely at choice as to when, how, with whom, where and on what you work. It is even the freedom of choosing whether to work or not.

Is this drive to develop info-marketing products really our way of seizing the freedom of self-determination? Does this really mean that we want to be free from the obligation of work? Do we really want to be free to choose whether or not we work at all? It’s really interesting to see what remains when we completely remove money and its accompanying self-created pressures from the equation. If you did that, what would remain?

Would your work life look different than it does now?

How specifically would it look different?

What would you immediately drop? Add?

What would you do more off? Less off?

Would you be working more or less? Would you be working at all?

Would you still be trying to build your opt-in list, sell your eBooks and become a successful info-marketer? Or, if money were no longer an issue, would you even care about that anymore?

What would be the central theme of your work? Why don’t we find out?

Excellent, then let’s do an exercise to remove the need for money completely from our work and see what remains.

You’ll need your imagination, a timer, blank paper and a pen or pencil. Set the timer for four minutes and start it when cued to do so. Get that stuff and come back to reading. It will be well worth your while. Ready?

Here’s the scenario. Imagine you’ve received a registered letter from a venture capital investment firm. They represent a large conglomerate that wants to buy the complete rights to an original idea of yours. There is no negotiation. They are offering you 3.7 million dollars. As you read on, you see that there is a catch in the form of some very peculiar terms. The letter will self-destruct within four minutes and the offer will be withdrawn - unless you complete an exercise exactly as instructed. You are being asked to open an envelope and as you do your four minutes will begin.

In the envelope is one instruction. You must write down the whole truth about the work you intend to do once the issue of money is gone. Tell the truth and the money is yours. Otherwise you get zip. Ready? Pick up your pencil and start the timer.

First you may have been tempted to fix a few other things in your life. But after you purchased the home and car, after you traveled the world, after you were generous with charities, friends and family. Now what? What about your work?

What did you write? How will your work be different? I’m betting that your answers are more real than the work you are now doing. I’ll share my answers in the first comment and I’d be honored if you share yours as well.

The bad news is that no one is waiting to offer you 3.7 million dollars. The good news is that you now have a blueprint to follow to do the work you were meant to do. By doing so, you have raised the probability of making your work delightful and of earning your own 3.7 million dollars. The only question is this: Will you use this blueprint or will you go back to following your fears instead of your own inner wisdom?

Will you please honor yourself and do this exercise? Will you honor yourself (and all of us) even further by commenting and sharing what you actually came up with?

In case you’re wondering, I found the writing of this post to be completely delightful.

Do you know what makes you exceptional?

If you do are you frequently and fearlessly expressing your exceptionality?

Here’s my theory of exceptionality. We increase the probability of creating a life of freedom, fulfillment and financial prosperity to the degree that we are willing to express our exceptionality.

I hope you’ll agree, that the best of both worlds, would be if we could all be paid very well, simply for being who we really are. When we take action from the core of our uniqueness then it’s an easier action leveraged by our inherent assets.

But it seems like so many have gotten so far off-track that even if offered a great reward simply for being completely authentic - they may not be able to collect. Could you? If a foundation sought you out and made an offer of $100,000 just for being 100% who you are, for one week, would you collect?

In order to collect you’d have to choose to fearlessly express your exceptionality every time it ran smack into cultural conformity.

In order to collect you’d need to express your odd behaviors, personality quirks and peculiarities without regard for societal norms.

Could you do that? Would you be willing to risk becoming a cultural outcast to collect the hundred grand? If yes, I salute you. If you would not be willing, what stops you from expressing yourself completely? Haven’t you noticed that most of us are obsessed with the uniqueness of celebrity while personally reeking of conformity?

Identifying and expressing ones exceptionality is an essential key to self-employment success. The market is way too crowded to hold back and expect success. We’ve got to let our exceptionality rip so that our unique voice can be heard. I call that guy my Wild Tommy. He’s the part of me who doesn’t give a hoot what others think. He just shows up and lets it all hang out.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

- Dr. Seuss

Cultural conformity is a fear-based limitation that tells us what we are supposed to do. There are no rules and there are no sacred things that we are supposed to do.

“Hell, there are no rules here - we’re trying to accomplish something.” - Thomas A. Edison

Somewhere we lost our way and allowed appropriateness to crush our wildness. Do you think that’s why it seems like we have to work so hard to get what we want? I do. Somehow we have lost the inspirational example of our natural world and replaced it with lots of effort. Whistling while we work is natural. It’s how life gets to be when we express all of who we are. Isn’t wholeness the meaning of integrity? So what’s with all this pretending?

Perhaps we simply need to check the validity of our decisions on how alive they make us feel? Does it really need to be more complicated than that?

“Don’t ask what the world needs - ask what makes you come alive and go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman

What can you do to express your exceptionality more? A good first step would be to discover it. You can discover it by answering some questions designed for that purpose. To receive a handout and recording from a teleclass on exceptionality just send a blank email to joyful@coreu.com.

I’m curious, what do you think? Could expressing our exceptionality more frequently be the key to creating the life we most want to live?

I’m not talking about cursing, although once you see how easy this is you may feel like letting loose.

Many say that they’d like to be their own boss but they let their fears stop them. Fear has an insidious nature to it. It seeps into everything you think and say, thus making your quest for work life freedom and happiness seem much more difficult than it is.

When fear latches onto the possibility of your dreams, it expands - as one fearful thought after another colors your world darker and darker. These thoughts create an illusion of doubt that is strengthened by your fearful words. What’s the way out?

Watch your language.

Sometimes a tiny adjustment can lead to a huge leap in progress. This is one of those times. If you can simply bump up your awareness on what comes out of your mouth, the fear will dissipate like a morning fog and you’ll be on your way.

Language acts as a bridge between your intentions and your dreams. You can be very clear about what you want and even be very willing to take bold actions. But if your talk doesn’t allow you to see your optimum path – you’ll never walk it. Powerful language not only emboldens your actions, it makes visible options to which you were once blind.

And there’s the rub. Unless a life coach or a really good friend is willing to suggest corrections in your language, you may never know how ineffective it really is. No one can see his or her own blind spots. We simply fall into language patterns over time that do not serve us well. This weaker language repeatedly persuades us that we are capable of far less than we actually are.

In my coaching, I work with many clients who have fantastic ideas for a product or for their own small business but they lack a deep belief in themselves. It’s not so much the idea that brings success, but the man or woman behind it. It’s fascinating that these same clients are willing to make bold action agreements to move their ideas forward. Yet they can’t see the silent dream-killer working behind the scenes to trip them up. They can’t see how their own words and thoughts that precede them are making the climb to success so slippery.

If your words don’t line up with your intentions, then you’re working much harder than you need to be. It takes a tremendous amount of energy just to fight the confusion and doubt in your own mind. There is an easier way, and here it is.

Three small language adjustments that will make your dreams come true.

For years I repeatedly talked about my biggest business and life failure. I wrote about it here. It hurt so much that it had become not only my story but also my identity. It colored everything, so that new dreams had a very tough time taking root. Then magically one day I really heard myself - and changed how I called my life’s game.

I want you to know that how you talk about your life could be just as important as the actions you take. In fact, more so - because you probably aren’t taking actions because of the accumulation of your self-talk. Once you realize this and act on that basis, you’ll begin to watch your language about yourself and your dreams. Calling a good game means that you put the most positive spin on how your life is going. Essentially, you look for the bright side and talk about it often.

Here are a few tips on how to put more powerfully positive talk in play.

A client once asked. “But what do I do when I am so stuck in the negativity that I don’t believe a more positive story about my hopes and dreams?”

When this occurs, we have a deep psychological objection to thinking more positively about ourselves. We need something that will counteract our hidden unwillingness to feel better. Gary Craig developer of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) designed a powerful ”setup” phrase that works really well.

Here’s the phrase. “Even though I have this ________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Read what John Freedom at www.emofree.com writes. “This does work - much of the time - but not always. The Setup is intended to be the built-in antidote for psychological reversal (PR). A PR is an objection to healing. It is a form of subtle self-sabotage, and includes any limiting belief or consideration a person is holding, that prevents them from healing and changing now. Often this takes the form of implicit self-hatred.”

Go to the link and read about it for yourself. I really like this setup phrase because of its honesty. I’ve found it to be much more believable than pie-in-the-sky affirmations that are so much beyond what one currently believes.

But by adding the powerful “Even though,” we admit where we are and then can affirm what we want. For example, try combining all of the tips above in one powerful statement. “Even though I’ve struggled, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Then…. “Even though I’ve struggled, I’m now in the midst of turning everything around.” When we add the power of tapping (here’s a very good video tutorial on EFT tapping) to this powerful language, amazing breakthroughs are realized.

Watch your language. These three small adjustments can make your dreams come true. Are you willing? Are you ready to make them happen or are you all talk?

For more on powerful language options, read these posts.

Andrea Hess of Empowered Soul
on the relative non-importance of the stories we tell ourselves. What’s your story?

Suzanne Bird-Harris of Learning Curve Coaching on the alignment of body language with intentions. Is the Message You Send the Message You Intend?

Shilpan at Success Soul on Power Words to Empower Your Life

Have you ever screwed up and not followed through on a self-pledge? We all have, many times, and we are likely to continue, right? If that’s so, consider this. Wouldn’t it be a better strategy to give up on perfection and simply allow the screw-ups to occur? If we could do that without being so hard on ourselves, we’d be more fulfilled, waste less time and be far more productive.

Trust builds when agreements are honored. Thus it’s our self-trust that takes the biggest hit when we don’t follow-through as promised. So we need to trust ourselves once more to comeback from this temporary breach of reliability.

When we screw-up we can either change what occurred so that we don’t make the same mistake again or we can change how we feel about making mistakes. I find the latter to be just as effective and far easier to pull off.

Please get this. It’s not the mistake that derails you. It’s how you feel about letting yourself down. Since you admit that you are too hard on yourself, what might happen if you simply cut yourself some slack?

I’d like to introduce you to a couple of words and their definitions that you may have forgotten.

Forgive – to cease to feel resentment about.

Absolve – to free from guilt or blame or their consequences.

Have you forgotten that you have the power to self-forgive and to self-absolve? It’s often a necessary step before we can get ourselves back on track. I really want you to know a few things.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make. You can always begin again. As a coach, I often ask clients to give themselves permission to forget about past misses and begin anew. Absolve yourself. Let it go. Recognize the futility of holding onto the mistake and its accompanying guilt. Start over. Take a Mulligan.

If you take yourself too seriously, lighten up and praise your good. Most of us tend to overplay our misses and under-recognize our hits. You do a lot of things right, don’t you? Who sees those? Whose job is it to make sure they get duly noted and celebrated? Perhaps if you spent more time recognizing your progress and all the things you do well, you would no longer need to be so self-judgmental.

Know that making a mistake is not an indication that anything is wrong with you or fundamentally lacking in your makeup. As kids, many of us had adults place the “what’s wrong with you?” curse on us. Know and act on the basis that nothing is wrong with you. You are a child of God who occasionally misses the mark. So what, who doesn’t?

Sometimes when you disappoint and do not follow through, it means nothing. It could mean that you just screwed up. Perhaps in your enthusiasm you simply over-promised. Perhaps other priorities and/or opportunities entered the picture.

Mistakes are simply attempts that missed the mark. Lighten up. Start over. Forgive yourself. Let go of the misstep. Shrug it off. Release those guilty thoughts.

Mistakes are inevitable and without them we would have no feedback for course corrections and adjustments. If you’ve made a mistake, it’s already in your past. It’s behind you, so allow it to remain there.

You can come back from anything. Clear the air. Forgive yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself a break. Love yourself. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Begin anew. Life wants you to win.

Why do so many who say they want the freedom of being their own boss remain employed?

According to a recent Intuit survey, 72% of Americans say they would rather work for themselves and 67% say they regularly or constantly think about quitting their jobs.

So why haven’t more actually made the move that they say they want to? In a recent post we looked at the fear of not having enough money. But we know it’s never really the money.

By digging deeper, what would we see lurking beneath the fear that’s stopping all these people from acting on what they say they want? I think it might be two things.

The Value of Freedom

If all you’ve ever known is slavery, might there be a comfortable, however twisted, safety in remaining a slave?

Could those of you who have yet to choose their freedom somehow have undervalued it because you simply don’t know how wonderful it feels to be free?

Work life freedom is complete autonomy. It’s the right of self-determination in every aspect of the work that you do. Perhaps it would be easier to value this freedom if those who have chosen to subjugate themselves to the will of an employer could get very clear on exactly what they are choosing to give up.

Within work life freedom are these freedoms:

The Responsibility of Freedom

How would you answer the question: What’s my greatest responsibility to myself?

How about this? My greatest responsibility for myself is my health, happiness and well-being.

So might it really be a question of responsibility? Has this great a number of unfulfilled employees abdicated their responsibility along with their freedom?

By abdicating responsibility, you get to complain and act as though your happiness is the responsibility of something or someone outside of your own control. When we abdicate our autonomy to an external authority, who is really authoring our lives? Haven’t we then given up our destiny to the random whims of bosses who, they themselves, typically don’t even enjoy their own work?

Renowned psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden stated in his book Taking Responsibility, “The first act of self-responsibility, and the basis for all others, is the act of taking responsibility for being conscious - that is, of bringing an appropriate awareness to our activities.”

I’m saying that the unhappily employed are actually not bringing enough awareness to their choices and activities. If you were, then you would see the futility in subjecting your life to outside authorities.

This blog refers to the same Intuit survey and highlights that 81 percent of Americans think that owning a business is more empowering than a “regular” job.

Might the fear of actually exercising that empowerment really be what’s stopping so many? I think so.
Claiming your work life freedom is primarily an inside job that begins with acting responsibly.

So assuming you are willing to, how can you take more responsibility to claim your own work life freedom?
You can:

Who among you in the 72% are willing and ready to do the above?

Those of you who have already claimed your freedom, what would you have these dream seekers do?

Repeatedly, I see talented, dedicated, self-employed professionals who are sure they have identified their true calling. Yet especially within the helping professions and the spiritual community, that discovery does not lead to enough money or fulfillment to make them happy.

What’s missing? Why doesn’t the money always follow doing what we love to do?

Here’s how we make the process of discovering our true calling so difficult.

Often folks will declare themselves to be missing a key element of their makeup. They judge themselves harshly. They plant the seed that concludes that they must be lacking in some way. Once planted, this seed of doubt grows into a tree that’s so big that it blocks their vision.

Know anyone like this? They are often slow to respond to their own call? They hesitate when presented with opportunities. What’s behind this lack of responsiveness? Essentially, it’s a lack of commitment. They think they’ve found their calling but they repeatedly stop short of full engagement. I was once this guy. How about you?

Once planted, the seed of doubt sprouts insecurities and self-judgments. “What’s wrong with me? Is it the work or is it me? No I love the work; it must be me. It feels right, maybe I just can’t earn enough in this work? No others do, so it must be me. What am I not seeing? Why can’t I just stick with something and follow through? What’s missing in my makeup? There must be something wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?”

If you’ve had a similar self-dialogue, then you know the futility of it. Allow me to point you in the right direction. It’s not you - it’s the choices you’ve made.

There’s nothing wrong with you; you have what it takes - rather it’s the way you’ve chosen the work you’re doing. Your process was faulty, so your results can only follow.

Here’s the complete process. There are five essential elements that harmoniously work to bring forth your greatness. In this case, here’s my definition of greatness: as much fulfillment, freedom of choice, prosperity and happiness as you desire.

Doing work that you love is only one of five, and if that’s the only one you align with, then you have only a 20% chance of reaching your greatness. Some of you are much closer so you only need to bring a couple of the elements into alignment. Wherever you are use this true target.

From the inside out, are you harmoniously aligning all five essential elements?

Work that feeds your soul

Work that’s aligned with your values

Work that you love to do

Work that engages your strengths

Work that encourages your unique traits

Some folks are so far off the mark that it requires a major life calamity to get their attention. Their target may look more like this.

And some folks really confuse the issue by mixing elements from both targets, so they end up hitting neither.

Just in case you aren’t clear, here’s the way you’re supposed to feel. You fly out of bed in the morning and can’t wait to get to your work. Your work completes you.

Once more, from the inside out, here’s the only test you need. Line up these elements and the money does follow, as does fulfillment, freedom and all things good.

Take the Delightful Work Survey

Is it truly unconditional?

Do you have a source of unconditional support and are you tapping into it frequently? If you aren’t receiving such powerful backing in your life, what might you do to get some? In my last post, Seizing Your Greatness, I offered a powerful exercise to discover the true path to work that you love.

But what if you’ve found it and don’t feel strong enough to go for it?
That’s where unconditional support comes in.

I used to be one of those guys who seldom asked for help. That was misguided. I’ve changed my ways, how about you? Do you graciously accept all support and seek it out when needed? I’ve found that most of us need to raise our willingness to receive. Even though the intention to give first without expectation is wise, we also must be willing to ask when we need the strength of others.

Mothers and fathers sometimes provide this level of support, and even spouses and siblings are capable of it. Beyond that (especially in traditional business circles) it’s rare indeed to find folks who are willing.
(Image by murky on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)

To disprove my own theory, here’s a support request. A good friend of mine is building a really cool relationship site and he will give five bucks to Save the Children if you just go there and fill out this survey.

Wanting to, and actually following through without a personal agenda, is rare. One of my earliest coaching clients hired me just to listen to his ideas, because everyone else in his life, including his boss and his wife, had their own agenda for him. Have you ever felt that way?

For greater insight into understanding the support of others, read the post: Who’s Really With You?

I want you to know that this isn’t just talk. I’m presently testing my theories in a real life experiment by facilitating an unconditional support experience. Thus far, the results are amazing. I’m asking the members of this experience to offer their observations and realizations by commenting below.

What about you?

What could you accomplish, be or understand with a steady stream of support that was absolute, unquestionable and given with no strings attached?

Could this be a case of not knowing what you’re missing because you’ve never realized support without limit?

For a light-hearted look at how some New Yorkers answered this question put in a little different way, watch this video from www.ifnotnow.net.

Observations from the Field

As with team sports, support is more easily given when clear-cut ground rules and a shared objective are agreed upon.

Support is more prevalent when facilitated by a coach who keeps one eye on the rules and another on the big picture objective. I’m finding it to be a challenging and glorious dance.

Even though I’ve coached individuals, groups and teams, those in a group experience receive unconditional support in far greater amounts because there are multiple sources of support that synergize with one another. I wonder if unconditional support could be the key to getting any business or sports team to perform at its best?

It’s certainly making a big difference in the lives of those brave adventurers who are right now participating in this bold social experiment. I’ll let them tell the rest of the story by asking them to comment on their experience.

Well my fellow supporters? What say you?

Can you tell us how differently you now feel while realizing greater unconditional support than before the experiment?

Have you noticed anything different about your decisiveness and/or clarity?

What specific value have you received from enjoying absolute support?

Have you accomplished more or less due to the backing of others?

What would you recommend to those considering a similar experience?

Why would you encourage them to participate?

What else do you want to share about the experience of both giving and receiving unconditional support?

For the rest of you, what could you accomplish, be or understand with a steady stream of support that was absolute, unquestionable and given with no strings attached?

Take the Delightful Work Survey