That being said, I agree with letting out anger. The more you hold it back, the more it builds up and becomes a part of who you are, instead of just a reaction to a situation.

~ Kristi

Kikolani | Blogging, Poetry, Photographys last blog post..The Return of Sleep Paralysis

In terms of dealing with others, its important, as you say, to be as transparent as possible, and if I were on the other side of the table, I would refuse to do business with anyone whom I did not feel was above board.

That said, you do not have to reveal your ‘dark side’ to everyone with whom you come in contact. Personally, I share my more vulnerable side only with friends who I consider to be very trustworthy, and whom I am certain will maintain my confidence with respect to confidentiality.

But on a more personal level, I feel that being in touch with all our emotions – the good and the bad, is essential if we are to live our lives in an emotionally healthy state. Denial of negative emotions is not an effective way to deal with the problem. The only way is to tackle them head on.

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You know, sometimes people are mean because of their own issues. Maybe your friend wishes he were more like you and that led him to emit harsh and unwarranted criticism.

Juliet – Yep. Sugar-coating is still only a coaching. What’s real always lies beneath.

Natalia – Welcome. You asked. “Is it possible that your friend thought they were being kind and supportive?” Well it doesn’t matter at this point because the delivery of his feedback was only a trigger for me to feel deeper issues. But I did talk with him and he was feeling like he could have been kinder even before we addressed this. So my initial reaction was both accurate and a link to deeper gold. You’ll find some interesting insights in the comments above. It’s possible to see the value in anger when we can separate anger from violence. They don’t mean the same thing. It’s possible to be angry and hurt no one. Also the best thing about anger is what it teaches us about what we are really thinking.

I love what you’re saying about being real! Anger is a part of being real, a big part. Anger is an emotion that I have trouble with. I’m trying to teach my son that anger is an OK emotion and the OK ways to express it. I have to say I’m flying blind in this department. But as I teach him, I learn…how is that possible?

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I think it is very important to experience and allow the feeling.
One problem I think that comes in these days is the belief that we should immediately turn it into the positive. I think we really need to understand and deal with it, not just bury it under a load of positive phrases and comments on how we should be feeling.

Juliet

LifeMadeGreat | Juliets last blog post..How Do You Deal With Other People’s Customs?