Delightful Work

Often I’ll begin coaching a self-employed, brand new coaching client who needs to get the money flowing now. When I begin coaching a client who needs to earn more immediately, it’s off-purpose to plant future seeds. This is the checklist I use to get more cash generated quickly.

1). Identify who it is that you want to serve the most.

Who do you really enjoy working with? Serving which demographic most warms your heart? What do these prospects really care about? What problems do they usually have that they must solve soon? What brings them alive? What are they not willing to compromise? Once you’ve answered these questions to the point of knowing exactly who they are and what they care about, then you can express yourself more clearly and they can find you more easily. Read a description here of those who I want to serve the most.

2). Ask for the money.

“All the money you want, someone else has, and you need to ask them for it to receive it.” Egbert Sukop

I’m not just talking about putting things out there on your blog or your website. I’m talking about calling up people you know and asking them whom they know. But ask for referrals very specifically by describing your answers to #1 above. Then, after describing whom you most want to serve, ask. Who does that bring to mind? Who do you know who fits that description? They can tell by the enthusiasm in your voice that you passionately want to serve that person so they are much more eager to refer you. Remember, it’s often not the direct action that brings in the cash. Often results come parallel to action.

3). Work in the now.

It’s very likely that in this moment you and I have enough money. The bills are current and there is gas in our car, a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. In this moment, all is well. So why do we feel like we have so little when we actually have enough? How can we feel like we have so little when something always turns up and it always turns out to be enough? Hasn’t that been your experience?

The now is the only place where we can produce anything. In the present we are powerful and in the future or the past we are powerless. Yet we don’t commit to living in this moment, do we? Have you ever wondered why?

Here is a fundamentally erroneous belief that you may not know you have. If you believe that money will solve all your problems then it will always seem as though you don’t have enough money. Why? You always have problems to solve. Since you will always have problems you will never have enough money to seem like you’re problem-free and that will make you strive for an unreachable future where you are problem free. It’s a no-win game to play.

Our biggest problem is that feeling of future security that we crave. It’s not enough for us to feel good about what we have now. No, we also want a guarantee that we will have more than enough in the future. It’s that focus on the future that creates the stress in the moment and that stress lessens your ability to maximize your earnings in the now. You can’t possibly be there and earn here. It sounds so obvious but that’s where powerless victims tend to take their thoughts.

If you really want to get the money flowing, then run your thoughts and actions by this quick checklist. Make the adjustments you need to make and feel good about where you are and what you have right now. Which of these three do you need to engage to get more money flowing? On which of these three do you tend to lose your focus? Is there a fourth strategy that you would add?

Interested in taking some action to stimulate your cash flow? Consider being coached in this mastermind group for the self employed.

Click here to inquire about one-on-one coaching.

Have you ever screwed up and not followed through on a self-pledge? We all have, many times, and we are likely to continue, right? If that’s so, consider this. Wouldn’t it be a better strategy to give up on perfection and simply allow the screw-ups to occur? If we could do that without being so hard on ourselves, we’d be more fulfilled, waste less time and be far more productive.

Trust builds when agreements are honored. Thus it’s our self-trust that takes the biggest hit when we don’t follow-through as promised. So we need to trust ourselves once more to comeback from this temporary breach of reliability.

When we screw-up we can either change what occurred so that we don’t make the same mistake again or we can change how we feel about making mistakes. I find the latter to be just as effective and far easier to pull off.

Please get this. It’s not the mistake that derails you. It’s how you feel about letting yourself down. Since you admit that you are too hard on yourself, what might happen if you simply cut yourself some slack?

I’d like to introduce you to a couple of words and their definitions that you may have forgotten.

Forgive – to cease to feel resentment about.

Absolve – to free from guilt or blame or their consequences.

Have you forgotten that you have the power to self-forgive and to self-absolve? It’s often a necessary step before we can get ourselves back on track. I really want you to know a few things.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make. You can always begin again. As a coach, I often ask clients to give themselves permission to forget about past misses and begin anew. Absolve yourself. Let it go. Recognize the futility of holding onto the mistake and its accompanying guilt. Start over. Take a Mulligan.

If you take yourself too seriously, lighten up and praise your good. Most of us tend to overplay our misses and under-recognize our hits. You do a lot of things right, don’t you? Who sees those? Whose job is it to make sure they get duly noted and celebrated? Perhaps if you spent more time recognizing your progress and all the things you do well, you would no longer need to be so self-judgmental.

Know that making a mistake is not an indication that anything is wrong with you or fundamentally lacking in your makeup. As kids, many of us had adults place the “what’s wrong with you?” curse on us. Know and act on the basis that nothing is wrong with you. You are a child of God who occasionally misses the mark. So what, who doesn’t?

Sometimes when you disappoint and do not follow through, it means nothing. It could mean that you just screwed up. Perhaps in your enthusiasm you simply over-promised. Perhaps other priorities and/or opportunities entered the picture.

Mistakes are simply attempts that missed the mark. Lighten up. Start over. Forgive yourself. Let go of the misstep. Shrug it off. Release those guilty thoughts.

Mistakes are inevitable and without them we would have no feedback for course corrections and adjustments. If you’ve made a mistake, it’s already in your past. It’s behind you, so allow it to remain there.

You can come back from anything. Clear the air. Forgive yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself a break. Love yourself. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Begin anew. Life wants you to win.

What a wonderful adventure self-employment is. I’m laughing at myself today and I want to share that laugh with you. What’s cracking me up? Just that I had a truth to tell, and hemmed and hawed about telling that truth - which is soooo not who I am. Temporarily, I forgot an essential truth of life.

It’s all bull. We make it all up. (Image by mrchriscornwell on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)

In personal matters, everything we perceive as truth is really a fabrication that we put together to explain our actions and decisions. Through the lenses of our own perception, every story that we tell ourselves about ourselves, if limiting in any way, is pure bull. Our stories are full of reasons, justifications, excuses and lies that we create so that we don’t have to be as authentically daring as we really know we ought to be.

“There are no whole truths: all truths are half-truths. It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil.” - Alfred North Whitehead

Here’s what’s so funny. Like most folks, I don’t really enjoy confrontation. But like most coaches, I rigorously self-examine. So when I know something’s not kosher, I really can’t remain silent.

I suspect that my darker side may even bring things to a boil so that bold action is necessary. For a long time, I was one of those guys who avoided conflict and procrastinated until I forced my own hand. Then I buckled down and pulled things out at the last minute. I repeated that pattern until it didn’t work for me in one colossal failure. But something within me still craves the remnants of last minute heroics, because I continue to create situations that require it.

For example, I’d rather be brutally honest, even at the risk of rubbing someone the wrong way, than remain silent and tolerant. Isn’t that what we mean when we say we are done suffering fools? But who’s really the fool? Who created the situation in the first place?

The reason I’m laughing so hard at myself is that I’ve realized that I continue to create the very tyranny that I do battle with. It’s no wonder that Braveheart is my favorite movie.

For me, the greatest benefit of self-employment is the freedom of self-determination. But this freedom to call one’s own shots comes with the responsibility of exercising our independence in the face of the pressure to conform. We can’t truly live our freedom without reclaiming it on a regular basis, even if that reclamation is accomplished by smashing the boundaries of our own fabrications.

Sometimes the only thing holding me back is a limiting belief about myself. I suspect if you look within you’ll find the same thing to be true for you.

“I am powerless is the lie beneath all other lies.” - Steve Chandler

Want to try a powerful, yet very quick and easy exercise? Write down something you say you really want at the top of a pad of paper. Since you don’t already have it, you must have some beliefs that support you not having it. Right? Go ahead and write them all down. Just really make the case for why you can’t have what you want. No go back over your list and see if you really are powerless to make your move. Or is it just a story you’ve been telling yourself?

Take the Delightful Work Survey

Regular readers of this blog know that I compare employment to slavery. Think that’s too harsh?

Look at this dictionary definition for slavery “…the state of being under the control of another person.” Or look at these synonyms for slavery: drudgery, constraint and subjections, or these antonyms: emancipation, freedom and liberty. If the shoe fits…

I’m not writing this for the few of you who truly love your jobs. And, while I encourage your comments, I’m not writing this for my fellow coaches and bloggers who have already seized their freedom.

I’m writing this for those of you who have yet to make the leap.

(Image by brosha on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)

What’s stops you from going for your work life freedom and fulfillment? Do you know?
What story do you tell yourself about this?

I’ve recently had the privilege of reading the responses of 110 work life freedom surveys.
One survey question asked this.

What is the number one thing stopping you from creating more freedom in your work life?
Here are the top five responses:

5). Procrastination
4). Lack of self-confidence
3). Not being clear on the livelihood I want
2). Fear of failure
1). Money

The number one thing stopping these wonderful, sincere people from going for their work life freedom is a perceived lack of money or concern regarding obligations that require money.

I understand and I can feel your fear. Money is so highly valued in our society that the lack of it can lead to intense self-judgment. Yet I can’t let you continue to hide behind the excuse of not having enough money. We use the lack of money as a reason to keep us from doing and not doing all kinds of things. But that’s not it - and I can prove it to you. Quit reading now and get a piece of paper and a pencil.

In the next five minutes, as quickly as you can, write down all the things you can’t do because you can’t afford it. Just complete this sentence as fast as you can.

I can’t afford to….

(Don’t read on until you’ve taken at least 30 seconds to try this exercise.)

Okay, now go back over your list and read it out loud, but replace “I can’t afford to” with “I don’t want to.”

Can you now see how you have given so much power to money? That’s right, it’s not the money. What if you could accept this as the absolute truth for everything on your list? How would that change what you think you can and cannot do? When we examine how much we really want something, we invite all kinds of fresh insights. It truly does come down to the degree of our desire.

Perhaps you’ll find that you really don’t want your work life freedom that badly. Perhaps you want to continue being safely miserable in your job. If that’s the case, then at least come to acceptance with your choice. Truth be told, some would have to admit that they enjoy the twisted payoff that comes from being a complaining victim.

What about those of you who truly do want your work life freedom?

Are you willing to go deep within your self-exploration to do the work to find it? Are you willing to commit to the active pursuit of your work life freedom?

What remains when you remove money as the reason why you haven’t made the leap?

Is there really anything stopping you now? I’ve dedicated my life to this work. This is the coaching that I do. There is a way that works and I want to guide you there. How can I help you? What would you have me write about?

For my fellow bloggers, coaches and self-employed professionals, what can you share about that time just before you made the leap? How can you encourage these folks to go for it?

Take the Delightful Work Survey